I just got back from my date with The Chiropractor Guy – still in shock. If there was a date worthy enough to make me convert to lesbianism – then this would be the one. I don’t think that this guy could have been a bigger douche if he had tried!
So we had been messaging over Christmas until now and he seemed totally normal (don’t they all?!). He had a great sense of humor (and to be fair – he did in person too… somewhere between playing with his phone and telling me about all the girls he was banging) and I felt that we really hit it off. Also, he was over 6′ tall – the height problem solved right? Right?!
Welcome everyone to the story of THE DATE FROM HELL. I felt like Ashton Kutcher was about to jump out at any second and shout “You’ve been punked!”
He had decided to take us to a little restaurant in the Rocks called “Pancakes on the Rocks” – we parked up and he asked me for change for the parking meter. You knew that you were going to be parking the damn car – bring some change!
We had to queue up outside the restaurant for a while – which of course, was no problem – except that I noticed something that would continue on for the rest of the night… he inability to stop texting/checking his voice mail. Seriously, you are on a date – have the manners to leave your phone in your pocket.
When we finally got seated, it was right at the back of the restaurant – the only way that we could have gotten closer to the restrooms was if they had had some tables beside the urinals. Watching everyone come in and out did make for some interesting conversation though – including the man that went into the ladies and never seemed to notice and the old lady that didn’t reemerge from the toilets again for thirty minutes. I will definitely be spending more time in the future analyzing restroom activity. Oh – cheap thrills.
Strangely, he really didn’t ask me anything about myself and his conversation centered mainly on his “witty” jokes and such interesting topics as “have you ever filmed yourself having sex?” and “I dare you to pop out your nipple!” Finally, I had finished my food and my drink and – seeing me playing with my glass – he ordered even more water … forcing me to sit there even longer listening to him. Maybe my smiles and laughter had been pretty convincing in my wanting to avoid looking like a girl who was on the worst date of her life. Maybe.
We drove back to my place and he parked up outside. I had my seat-belt off before he had stopped the car – and my door open before the inevitable awkward pause ensued. I thanked him for dinner and he leaned in for a kiss – I took this chance to NOT make the same mistake as I did with The Slovakian Guy and gave him a kiss on the cheek . I then took my chance and ran out to the safety of my front door.
Giving him a kiss on the cheek was perfectly acceptable. Or so I had thought – until I got the following text message from him: “Could have thrown a sloppy one at me”.
In your dreams Mr. Chiropractor.